superman i got plans for you

you know how in 'lifestyle' magazines and weekend supplements people are always being asked which superpower they would like to possess, and they always say 'i'd like to be invisible' or 'i'd like to fly'. well, i can see the appeal of both of those but i've decided that if i were granted a super ability i'd like to be able to fire a fetid liquid at will. i take my inspiration from the humble skunk.
how great, next time someone gets on your nerves, to be able to just lower your trousers (half moon, you understand, there need be no genetalia on display) and fire a revolting smelling jet of something in their direction.
regular readers will know how much it irritates me when i hold the door open for someone and they do not acknowledge me. i'm sure they'd be slightly more expressive once i'd done my 'human stink bomb' act on them.