one of the first words i learnt when i moved to spain was 'aqui', which means 'here'. the context was actually 'not here'. actually it was more 'not here you don't you filthy, theiving, miserable, foreign bastud' and i still wince slightly at the memory, even though it was a staggering 20 years ago.
the boyfriend, with whom i'd moved to barcelona, and myself had gone to sitges for the day and had ended up sitting outside a lovely beachside cafe, indulging ourselves with an ice cream sundae. very nice it was too. so there i was, just finishing my ice cream, sun in my face, all well with the world, when Mark (the boyf) gets up, says 'quick, let's go,' and proceeds to leg it! i didn't really have a choice but to follow, so off i go. my first and only ever runner. now, the 'aqui no!' bit comes a couple of hours later when, like a complete pair of idiots, we wander straight past the cafe from which we had absconded earlier! out comes a red-faced waiter waving his arm and tea towel and screaming at us ('aqui no!') before grabbing us both by the t-shirt and dragging us inside. oh the shame! and all for an ice cream.
i was reminded of this yesterday upon leaving a rather posh/exclusive restaurant where i'd just had a boozy work lunch with a pr mate (who represents said gaff, and who had arranged for us to have a freebie). there we were, merrily winding our way off home when we hear the sound of footsteps behind us and a vaguely disgruntled chap informing us that 'you haven't paid your bill!'. fortunately there was no t-shirt grabbing, and he didn't onec use the here word but i still felt that horrid flush that you get when you're caught doing something you shouldn't.
how we laughed, once we'd sorted it out!
i shan't be going there again.
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