shall i make that a flambé?

bottle of champagne in posh hotel where we were staying the night.
cocktails on the way to the restaurant (margaritas, my current favourite tipple).
turn up at posh, newly opened W1 eatery.
shown to table. husband and wife at table next to us. he's cheated and is begging forgiveness, she's doing lemon-sucking face. at table on other side a pair of tipsy 20somethings.
start looking at menu. then, eyebrows furrowing (or what passes for furrowing in these wrinkle-therapied times) i say 'someone is smoking in here!' as a plume floats before me (the anti smoking ban came into force on 1 july).
'no,' exclaims boyfriend. 'your menu is on fire!'
tealights on the table!
how we laughed!
boyfriend later ended up laying in the street in Mayfair. i got a bollocking the next day for getting his shirt dirty.
but that's a whole new entry.