TV dinners

watching 'A Place in The Sun' on TV. a couple are looking round a windmill, which is sweet but absolutely tiny. i wouldn't want to live there but nice as a holiday home. the other properties they are looking for (down Portugal) are nice. AND SO CHEAP! i hate watching these kind of programmes. the ones about houses here give me status anxiety – why haven't i got a home like that? i wonder how much that costs? oh no, i'll never live anywhere that nice!
and the ones about property abroad give me location anxiety - why am i here paying so much for so little? why am i living somewhere so grey when i am such a sun lover. i used to be so free when i lived in Spain and didn't have a mortgage round my neck…
i actually just typed necek – which is quite a nice looking word. it looks a bit exotic. like something you'd bring back from a long-haul holiday. oh no, now i've got necek anxiety. what are they? why haven't i got one? who can get me one!
there's nothing else on worth watching (i'm having a pre-go out coffee and obsessive-compulsive look at my emails) - a kids' show featuring a manky monkey or a soap. and i don't watch soaps.
when i was a teenager we had a family issue around 'Neighbours'.
my nan would watch it at lunchtime and record it for my twin sister - i'd be home from school for lunch.
my twin sister would then watch the video when she got home from work.
we would then watch that very same episode with supper - my mum watching it for the first time, my sister watching it for the second and me for the third. AND THEY WONDER WHY I LEFT HOME SO YOUNG!