pick a card, any card

I've just been looking for Christmas cards for those in my address book who live far far away, so I've had a chance to savour the Across the Miles.... section. And very lovely it is too.
You can get lovely glittery cards with robins on them to send to people who are sweltering in sunnier climes.
You can get lovely non-glittery cards with drawings of a 'cool' Father Christmas in boardies (shorts to you and I) drinking a can of beer with the heartfelt message 'Across the miles to Australia'. I picked it up. Behind it was another version that said 'across the miles to Spain'. I carried on looking but couldn't find one that said 'Across the miles to Birmingham'. Never mind, eh.
I then started looking for a card for my nan. I couldn't find one that said 'have a merry Christmas, it might be your last!' so I got one saying something about mixing all the bestests Christmases ever and making a happy wish for my lovely granny, which I'm sure she'll love – she's one of those people who chooses cards for the words and not the picture, which always meant drawings of vintage cars with a nice ditty inside.
Next to the nan and granddad cards, however, was a selection that made all of the above pale into insignificance.
Yes, next to the cards for the oldies was a selection of cards 'To the cat' and 'To the dog'. I looked and looked but 'To the spider in the bathroom' was nowhere to be found. Nor, bizarrely, was 'to my bed, thanks for a great year'. Now, I know it's better to give than receive but all I can say is that if I don't get a card back from the kitty, it's the first and last time I send her one!
And while we are on the subject of Christmas cards, my twin sister once sent a card to our parents and signed it Wendy Short.
Bless!