come into the garden, fraud

My shed is black. now, i know it sounds like a goth rock classic but it's actually how i spent my weekend. my friend veronica, who works on a gardening mag, so knows about these things pointed out recently that the orange monstrosity at the end of the garden would be slightly less conspicuous if it were a darker shade. i wasn't sure but she showed me lots of pics of black and grey sheds and i have to admit she was right.
an aside about Veronica. as part of her gardening magazine life she gets to do loads of makeovers. her mum's garden, once an unloved wasteland is now, apparently, a verdant vision. imagine how excited i was then when she offered to 'do something' to my own back yard, which, when we moved in looked like a cross between an abandoned football field (home team The Diddy Men) and a refugee camp (that shed has delusions of Alpine Lodgery). so, i give her the brief - anything goes, a patio if poss and some nice flower beds. and soon enough, my makeover arrives. IN THE POST! basically it's a sheet of tracing paper with line drawings of plants etc on it. when laid over the photograph i supplied for Veronica to work on, it gives you an idea of what my makeover garden might look like! hilarious.
not.
Veronica came close to trumping this the other day when she informed another friend, who has spent the past eight years cultivating a gorgeous urban oasis that 'you could really do something with this'. how we laughed.
not.
anyway, back to my shed. it's now black and much less conspicuous than before. providing of course that you are only looking at it from the house. if you are in the garden and catch it from the wrong angle you can see that i was too lazy to paint the side!
you can hardly blame me: it took 3 coats and i had claw-hand-cramp before i'd even finished half of the first one!
i'm logging off now as my machine is doing that really annoying thing where i type but nothing appears on the screen, then suddenly a whole bunch of letters turn up at once. like buses. or a telex.