someone fetch a first aid kit

so, out with school friends for dinner last night. i am 41 years old yet still have to stop myself from calling them by their surname. within 40 seconds we had all reverted to type, reassuring that essentially we are all the same at 41 as we were at 14 (though I am obviously slimmer, sexier, funnier and my mum doesn't buy my shoes for me anymore!).
one of my mates told a hilarious story about how he rescued a man from a burning car. which is weird, because he's a scientist, while one of the other mates is actually a fireman. crazy huh!
anyway, Sam was driving his family to the park one day when he noticed a commotion at the end of his road. it soon became apparent that a car had driven through a wall that separates the road from the local river. a car had indeed crashed through the wall and rolled down onto the bank.
quick thinking Sam jumped down the 6 ft drop to attempt to rescue the passengers in the car (he said that he later wondered what the hell he was doing). as he got near the car he says he saw a woman wandering around in a daze. he soon realised she was the passenger and that the driver was stuck in the car.
by this time a paramedic had arrived but was apparently just standing by the road looking down.
so, Sam and another good samaritan go to the car but cannot open the driver's door.
they both know you shouldn't move accident victims so Sam goes round and gets in the passenger seat to see how the guy is doing.
he's awake but slurring a bit bloody, but worst of all, Sam says he notices that one of his feet is at a really weird angle under one of the pedals.
Sam begins chatting to the guy to try and reassure him that it's all going to be ok when he realises that OH MY GOD, SMOKE IS COMING OUT OF THE AIR VENTS, AND THE CAR IS ON FIRE, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE etc etc, so he and the other guy have no choice but to drag the guy out of the car.
says Sam: 'all i can think of is how much his foot is going to hurt as we pull him out'.
but pull him out they do and walk him toward the road.
by this point an ambulance and the fire brigade have arrived - prompting the lazy paramedic on the road to start dragging the passenger around, for fear of everyone realising he'd been doing bxgger all all this time.
the firemen then proceed to give Sam and the other guy a right old bollocking for not checking the rest of the car for other passengers. the car by this point is indeed on fire.
cue one young fireman to go over and 'blast the shit' out of the car with a fire extinguisher, which apparently caused a huge white, choking fog to envelope everyone in the vacinity.
eventually, someone comes with a stretcher to relieve Sam and the other guy of the accident victim, who they have been holding off the ground for fear of causing him further pain in his foot. 'He was a big guy!' apparently.
it wasn't until he was in the ambulance and vaguely coherent that he (the driver) informed Sam that the reason his foot looked so mangled was that he lost it in another accident a few years previously! he was wearing a false foot that had come up in the accident.
well, it made me laugh.