So, we’ve had X-factor, where ‘talented’ wannabes risk ritual humiliation in return for a grasp at potential world domination and we’ve variations on the theme: pet idol, celebrity pop idol, billy idol, etc etc so, what I thought the other day as I was laying in bed at 3am unable to get back to sleep (this is a regular occurrence at the moment due to imminent life changing changes and work rethinks) what about idol idol?
Simon Cowell (SC): Hello, what’s your name?
Contestant 1: Bhudda
SC: OK, Mr Bhudda, what are you going to do for us?
Con 1: I am going to teach you that life is suffering and the art of non-attachment.
SC: Distinctly average, i'm afraid you're not quite what we're looking for
Cheryl Cole wells up
Next a man on a cross is wheeled in
SC: Hello, and who might you be?
Contestant 2: I am Jesus
SC: OK, so, Mr Jesus, you think you’ve got the X factor? What are you going to do for us?
Contestant 2: I am going to die for your sins.
SC: You know what, this competition needs more people like you. Hungry, willing to go that extra mile…
And then it’s Ganesh, The Virgin Mary (doing a Madonna song natch) and on and on and on.
I'd watch!
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