what's in the bag?

there is a woman on the radio talking about a bag of hair.
she apparently used to cut her ex boyfriends hair and, unbeknown to him, used to keep all the cuttings.
she now keeps the cutting in a bag and can't throw them away.
not because she still holds a flame for the ex but because she can't bear to touch the bag as it feels like a human head.
she sounds vaguely deranged.

i got a press release today about a new restaurant that is not only going to be 'huge'! but it's also going to serve 'imaginary eastern food'. I LOVE THAT. imaginary food!
i was so inspired, in fact, that i have just opened an imaginary restaurant. it's already a big hit among foodies. drop my name when you call and they might be able to fit you in some time in September. 2009.
i'm also in the middle of writing 'the imaginary food diet', which is guaranteed to be a 'huge' success and should see the skinny trend elevated to new heights!

i personally recruited all the imaginary staff for my imaginary restaurant (they are all gorgeous, natch and think i'm a really 'amazing' boss)but i have forbidden them from using the word 'enjoy'.
don't you hate it when you go to a restaurant and, upon bringing you your dishes, your waiter/ess puts down the plate and says 'enjoy'. like it's some kind of order.
well, i do. anyway.